Reason as the Leading Motive

Bisexuality and Commitment

Posted by Jerry on January 27, 2009

In brief, my thoughts on bisexuals and their capacity to have committed, romantic relationships with a single partner.

The incomprehensibility surrounding a person’s bisexuality has mostly to do with the fact that people impute more layers of complexity to the matter than is actually warranted.

Bisexuality is just like any other sexual identity. Merely because a bisexual has the possibility of forging deep and romantic relationships with both sexes (or the possibility of being physically intimate with both sexes) does not mean that he is inexorably led to do so at every juncture! Neither does it mean that he will more quickly tire of his current partner and seek someone of the other sex than his heterosexual and homosexual counterparts would!

A bisexual may well choose a partner of either sex and live in a committed, long-term relationship. The bond that keeps two people together in a lasting relationship is not sexual orientation (that’s more like a precondition), but love–and all the necessary elements that lead to the summary emotion of love.

And are we to deny that bisexuals have the same capacity to experience true love–for whichever gender that may be?

8 Responses to “Bisexuality and Commitment”

  1. timeto said

    “Thou shalt no lie with Mankind as with Womankind; because it is an abomination.” Leviticus 18:22

  2. 8traq said

    As a bisexual woman, I completely agree. I’ve been in long term relationships and sexual orientation doesn’t have influence on the ability to commit. Just like heterosexuality, it’s all a mind state and if you are mentally and emotionally ready to settle down and make that commitment. People fail to realize that a sexual orientation is only revealing of what a person likes and is attracted to. all this talk of “sin” and “abomination” is incredible because if people were of religion as they say they would show forgiveness, tolerance, and will not force religion upon others that may or may not be of the same faith. Turning ur back on others is an “abomination” because Jesus died for all of our sins [and yes we all sin in some way or another], God will never turn his back upon anyone who is not dark in their heart.

  3. Jason said

    Seems that Ergo hit a sore point with somebody, LOL!

    Timeto, have you read anything recently that would actually pertain to the discussion?

    I personally don’t see why a bisexual couldn’t remain committed to a partner, anymore than anyone else could remain committed to only one partner if they so chose.


  5. 8traq said

    what God do you have? … last time i checked that whole “God hates” is complete bullshit. God Loves.

  6. Completely agree! I think it’s important to remember that. After all, it’s only a state of being. Who are these people quoting the Bible?

  7. H said

    So, I’m new here and I like what I see 🙂
    I’m bisexual(or discovering…it’s confusing..bleargh) and I’ve been with a girl for the past three years and I’m incredibly happy…It’s not like I’m going to run to the first guy I see…Love has almost nothing to do with sexuality 🙂

  8. MiouBe said

    Well said Ergo. I’ve been “gay” mostly, but got tired of that pigeonhole, found it was kind of difficult to squeeze out of it actually, and now wouldn’t mind resting in the broader church of “bisexuality” (o no straightjacket category at all, for that matter). And the question you briefly discussed is one which has indeed been bugging me a little bit – will any future partner of mine (of the opposite sex) ‘trust’ me? Isn’t there something there in my past I will never be able to properly shrug off since it’s dependent on any future partner’s willingness not to subscribe to a view that bisexuality equates with an inability to choose and to settle? I dunno, I’m not that fussed in the end, I know there are seriously normal people out there who’ll just get it and that the universe shall provide…

    By the way, do you have any thoughts on Vipassana meditation and objectivism? Just curious ya know…

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