Leitmotif

Reason as the Leading Motive

Surfaces

Posted by Jerry on June 1, 2007

Surfaces
Now, are etched with forsaken dreams
Dewy, diaphanous images of
Unrealized worlds
Like thoughts trickling down
On wrinkles of skin
Abandoning the cavernous recesses of the mind

Like a map of little lanes and side streets
Sorrow asphalted with concrete indifference
Black and opaque
Save for a golden river that cuts across my neck—
A slender glint of gold; a talisman of your love

Beneath the hardened, asphalted skin,
A torrent of memories gush, flow, and whirl
In rapid response to repeated summons
Tired and weary of incessant replay
Only to carve yet another crevice
Of a dewy, diaphanous, forsaken dream
Trickling down the surface of my skin

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6 Responses to “Surfaces”

  1. Ergo said

    Ah.. can this be for real? Am I finally leaving the barren desert to arrive at an oasis?

  2. Luis said

    Ooh… and awww… very good!

  3. Luis said

    Oh, and CAN IT BE REAL???

  4. Charlotte said

    oh my god, a full fledged poem! you beat me to it!

    I’m still drawing squiggly lines, waiting for inspiration.

  5. Ergo said

    I actually do not like this poem; particularly its ending. It quite obviously shows that I rushed to end the poem as quickly as possible before I ran out of things to say. Plus, notice the ending repeats the same ideas and words from the earlier verse. That’s a cowardly way to end the poem, I think. Hmmmm… I’m losing the knack of writing… or did I ever have it to lose?

  6. Luis said

    What I’ve always liked about your poems is the imagery in them. It’s always so active, as you’ve said, like whirling dervishes. Even the more gentle, static images have the cinematic effect of the camera moving over them, not just standing still on the subject or passively observing, but actively scrutinizing it.

    The surface is etched! The golden river cuts! The skin is asphalted! Memories GUSH, FLOW, and WHIRL! The replay is incessant! A crevice is carved (with something sharp, surely)!

    Now THAT’S Draaaaaama!

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