Leitmotif

Reason as the Leading Motive

Implied Understanding of Multiple-Person Relationships

Posted by Jerry on January 5, 2006

Regarding my theory of human romantic relationships, I have pretty much said all I had to say about it in various posts (like here and here and here, which all began originally from here). However, there is one more brief but important point that is implied in all of the other posts, but not stated explicitly. Here, I am stating it so there can be no misunderstanding:

My whole approach to and understanding of romantic relationships arises from within very specific contexts: I presume objective moral standards, and I presume all participants in any relationship recognize and understand the moral standards within their specific context. Expressing a contextual morality is not the same thing as advocating a relativistic morality (situation-based) or subjectivist morality (subject-based) or intrinsic morality (dogma-based).

A contextually objective morality comprehensively integrates the dynamic interaction of the subject, the situation, and one’s current body of knowledge to reveal moral principles that can guide the subject’s actions. Thus, I reject monogamy as the dogmatic moral absolute in human relationships because such intrinsicism divorces the con-current influence of the subjects involved and the situation they exist in. However, that does not mean I reject monogamy as a contextual moral absolute if the subjects acting within a particular context agrees and recognizes that to be their moral standard.

Similarly, I reject all relationship patterns borne out of “convenience” or expediency, such as open-relationships, because they also ignore objective moral standards and replace them with a dogmatic obedience to their subjective whim and fancy.

Hence, the most crucial point to grasp here is – any certain relationship “design” is not intrinsically moral as such. Monogamy is not intrinsically moral as such. The morality of a relationship – regardless of their design – is an attribute of the integrity of the individuals involved in that relationship.

Morality is applicable only to volitional beings that enter into relationships – not whimsically applicable to the relationship itself.

Thus, two people involved in a monogamous relationship are not necessarily involved in a de facto “moral” relationship – nor would three people involved in a relationship be in a de facto “immoral” or lascivious relationship.

Therefore, I reject the current institutional endorsement of monogamous relationships intrinsically accepted as the only moral design permitted to humans. It is unequivocally anti-real, anti-life and very immoral in its own fundamental sense.

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One Response to “Implied Understanding of Multiple-Person Relationships”

  1. […] To that, I’d like to add a quote from one of my other posts. I see it highly relevant in this context: Monogamy is not intrinsically moral as such. The morality of a relationship – regardless of its design – is an attribute of the integrity of the individuals involved in that relationship. Thus, two people involved in a monogamous relationship are not necessarily involved in a de facto “moral” relationship – nor would three people involved in a relationship be in a de facto “immoral” or lascivious relationship. Personal integrity should be the hallmark of one’s character. Integrity subsumes honesty, and honesty means never faking reality. In relationships, as in other areas of life, there is no room for wilfull, deliberate and/or pernicious deceit. This connects with honesty, in that if there is any form of uncertainty, it should be brought out into the open. Any instance of wilful repression of doubt or faking of certainty is an instance of being deceitful and is compromising on your integrity. […]

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