Leitmotif

Reason as the Leading Motive

A Lover’s Death

Posted by Jerry on September 12, 2005

Along with every passing minute
As you lay still on stranger’s bed
I stood watching,
With scales for eyes,
No room for emotion,
Only attempts at inadequate expressions.

The emaciated hands of that clock on the wall
Peeled away an hour, and then another
I felt every deliberate pull of time
Tearing tiny fibers of my heart.

Maybe you noticed,
Or maybe you heard the soft sound of muffled pain
Because you mumbled something.

I jumped at the feeble sound of your voice,
Anchoring the possibility of my life
On the very strength of those words –
Every breath you took
Pumped air into my lungs

I focused on the rhythm of your heaving chest
And learned the art of survival.

I never loved you more as
I had loved you then.

In some time,
You woke up and looked at me.
It was a curious gaze –
Like one would look at a fish in a bowl:
Not important enough to contemplate
But fascinating enough to stare

Perhaps it was the scales in my eyes
Or perhaps that is how I always seemed to you:
An object of simple fascination

I should have known this day would come.
But how could I have seen through my scaly eyes,
They reflected nothing else but you.

How could I have heard the sounds of the siren,
When I was drowning in the depths of viscous emotions?

While time had further bruised my tattered heart,
You struck the final blow –
And no, not a loud and violent blow; No.
Just a sharp, precise, and gentle sting.
Like a needle in the hands of a surgeon,
You pierced my heart–
In a swift surgical act
I had not even felt the blood oozing.
In fact, not blood, it was
Love oozing.
Pushing out through that tiny hole you made,
Slowly but surely it kept flowing.

Then the slow poison of indifference
Crept into my head
It was only then that I noticed what had happened
I had felt no pain – just the void where love should have been
I felt indifference where burning passion should have been

The blow was struck
And I had not even known.
You had drained all the love in me
And I had not even known
You killed me so gently,
You did it so lovingly.

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3 Responses to “A Lover’s Death”

  1. innommable said

    WOW! This is amazing! Love the symbolism, the imagery, the tone… EVERYTHING!

  2. your poem was like a corridor to the past…my past…
    and i’m astonished at the immaculate precision of its details…
    if i were to narrate it to anyone, i’d quote you…

  3. Ergo Sum said

    Gosh! This is the BEST comment I’ve received so far for ANY of my works! Just the other day, I was lamenting about how people are so hesitant to make critcism about another’s works… that they’d rather say NOTHING than make some honest criticism. And one does not need to be HARSH in going about doing it!
    If you notice, I’m always going around people’s blogs posting exactly what I think… if I like, I say I do. If I don’t like it, I say I don’t. If I think this person could write it better, I say it straightforward.
    I’m glad finally someone decided to say something real like that! So here I quote Sasca, a.k.a Just an Ordinary Girl, and most recently a.k.a Cabrizella:

    “well, i liked he poem, it was, hmmm, there was something about it that did
    feel a bit “stunted” it just seems to me like it could flow more, there is
    one part i really like alot about how the lover takes breath in and this
    pumps air into you… i am not sure but its seems to me it would make more
    sense if the lover’s exhaling is what pumps breath into you? i just read it
    and like the idea but then i was like- wait- that woulden’t flow in a
    natural sense, i dunno, i like the surgeon imaery most of all it is very
    striking—the wholeidea of a surgery gone wrong like the surgeon is meant
    to save your life not take it— so it makes it all the more shocking that
    he would let you die/bleed to death since its not what a surgeon does… so
    emphasis on trust and then ensuing shock might kmake it more powerful but
    i’m not sure….the ending i thought was a little bit cliche- i think you
    can say the same thing in a more innovative way to make it more powerful–
    if its an old truth said in a new way it strikes the heart more deeply it
    seems but yeah i totally loev the idea i think you could make it amaaazing,
    right now it hink its just ok… thats my honest opinion
    sasca”

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