Leitmotif

Reason as the Leading Motive

Seek and You Shall Find

Posted by Jerry on August 8, 2005

I looked at the mountains to feel His power,

And I found my own strength.

I looked up to the heavens to see His face,

And I discovered my sight.

I went on a search for God,

And I found my Self.

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23 Responses to “Seek and You Shall Find”

  1. yikes and a half

  2. Ergo Sum said

    Hmmm… Why?

  3. Ergo Sum said

    I like Sasca D’Agostino better.

  4. oh really—> well, its kindof a scary thing to say… to say
    all i found was…
    myself…

    “you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.”

    you never told me the real reason why you are atheist- you said it goes beyond reason- so what is it?

  5. Ergo Sum said

    Oh, it’s a really loooong and personal story…
    How am I supposed to write all about it on here!? This blog has turned into too public a forum..
    And I’m not sure I’ll be able to convincingly express myself through written words here on all the experiences that took me through the phases of high religiosity, through doubt, and finally to hard atheism.

  6. well i wan tot hear it–do u want my email address, seriously…u can’t cop out so easy JK

  7. innommable said

    oh, I see an oportunity for a story here… Confessions of an Atheist.

  8. you can’t get out of it now…hehehe…

  9. Ergo Sum said

    PEOPLE! I actually have some WORK to do today at work! LOL! So, I’m not gonna be blogging much… 😦

  10. haha dude-chill did we say do it now~! LOL noooo…

  11. Ergo Sum said

    Oh well, let’s just say, I discovered almost the entire charismatic catholic church that I was a part of, embroiled in lies, deceit and secrets.
    I found this in the highest levels of the church — allegeded leaders of the “spirit”, priests, nuns, bishops, and lay people who claimed to have been filled with the Holy Spirit, and claimed to have “visions”, gift of tongues, and healing powers.
    My process of discovery of part accident, part a deliberate deception of my own.

  12. Ergo Sum said

    Incidentally, this church had HUGE HUGE numbers of people flocking to its gates every week from all over the world! On any given week, there would be more than 25 thousand people praising and worshipping at this place.
    The “spiritual leaders” who ran this place claimed evidence of healing taking place, calling peoples names randomly and revealing their illnesses and saying they were now cured, speaking in tongues, etc.
    I felt the effects of the “spirit” too! They said I received the “gift of tears” since I had cried like a baby… and that the electric feeling that passed through my body was the spirit moving in me.
    It was pretty cool… and CRAZY! Many people attending claimed to have been healed, seen visions of Jesus and Mary, spoke in tongues, etc.
    Wow! It’s amazing to look back upon it and remember those days.. haw far I have come… how crazy my days were back then… steeped in mindless mysticism, the negation of our human senses and of all the concrete realities our senses could perceive.
    It was essentially a negation of existence — my own personal existence.

  13. i knew it- i totally “felt’ the bad charismatic experience vibe in you

  14. wow–>>

    just, wow…

    i was raised charismatic Ergo…i know EXACTLY what you are talking about…

    i feel you

  15. so was this part of a covanent community or sword in the spirit organization or just some random following? 25 thousand??? wow…

  16. Ergo Sum said

    Oh, I don’t know what you mean by Covenant community or Sword blah blah…
    This was basically a TINY little Parish in small southern Indian village.
    Apparently, one of the priests in that parish (maybe the head priest, I can’t remember) claimed to have received a “vision” from God (or angels, I’m not sure) with clear directives to begin proselytizing from this parish, create an Evangelical mission there, and preach to the world.
    According to his testimony of the vision, God (or angel) said that all the necessary help and materials will automatically fall into place if he is willing to follow God’s will.
    So he did. And that started out with a small gathering of local peoples… then the message spread through word-of-mouth. Apparently, there were way too many miraculous incidents happening there that caught people’s attention.
    Now that place has almost become like a HUGE CORPORATE headquarters! Someone gave away for free an ENTIRE newly constructed building that was supposed to have been used as a Hospital, to this organization which is now being used a rooms to house people coming from all parts of the world there.
    The last I heard about them, they had spread wide from that initial location and was constructing underground subway shuttles to transport the faithful between services being conducted at the different locations.
    The name of this place is “The Divine Retreat Center”. You can google it online.
    Their icon of faith is the image of the “Divine” Jesus — a white caucasian male with long flowing blond hair, wearing a whitish robe with a red shawl pulled across his chest, and shafts of lightrays coming out of his two hands.
    There was also a “bleeding” picture incident at this place that was captured on tape, which they now sell there to the faithful… who probably buy it and watch the slow, bleeding process of that picture for about a couple hours.

  17. Ergo Sum said

    You felt the bad charismatic “vibe” coming from me!?!? WHATEVER, SASCA! Yeah, sure!

  18. like is said i knew you were catholic because you had a SET Catholic definition of God you were reacting against and further, as far as charimatic you seemed very reactionary specifically against mystical-charismatic-visionary-type experiences (and you have a charismatic personality, plus your way of expressing yourself and your sarcastic charismatic exopressions praise the lord, etc etc) so i am not making it up i just got that vibe i was thinking you were very into charismatic things at one point

    – listen it takes one to know one

  19. ( remmeebr i said “you must be charismatic” ??? hmmm? LOL well i was thinkin that for a while before i said it, hehe )

  20. HAHAHA you think I’m like pulling a charismatic thing on you like reading hearts or something?? HAHAHAHA

    —no no no its totally just my LOGICAL observations !!!!! LOL

  21. Ergo Sum said

    Hmmm…. now that you explain it that way…. hmm, I guess you’re right, huh?
    Damn!! I AM SO OBVIOUS! Like an open book, huh?

  22. to me you are, only because we think the same way so i can read the language you think/live in fluently

  23. 😉

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